An Urgent Request

I am not the wedding type. I am incredibly vocal about my hesitancy to spend money, as well as my personal feminism that prefers public celebrations of my educational and professional accomplishments. Friends have probably heard me exclaim that I would rather contribute any financial resources I have toward travel plans or my many, many student loans. While I respect everyone’s personal decision to celebrate their love, my plan had always been less traditional. I used to tell my mom that even if I were to have a celebration, I would wear sneakers, a tie-dyed dress, and incorporate several cat decorations.

I found my life partner in Uganda just about two months after arriving for a job in 2017. We met at a party and quickly struck up a conversation. He told me, “I heard that Hillary’s recent book didn’t get good reviews.” I went full “Leah-mode,” as my future partner listened intently while I gave him a comprehensive review of the book and an analysis of the media’s treatment toward Hillary. At the end of the evening, he asked for my number.

Over the past three years, I have had the opportunity to grow through my relationship and develop an understanding of what it truly means to have a partnership rooted in respect, care, and equality. The only regret I have is that my partner was never able to meet the other most important person in my life — my mom.

My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer in August 2018, a year into my time abroad. This is the same cancer to which we lost Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and John Lewis. While not as nearly as famous, my mom was an icon in her own right — committed to social justice and spreading compassion to those around her. I continued working abroad while fortunate enough to have flexible working conditions, travelling home a couple of times over the year to spend time with her.

On January 21 of this year, I got married. On January 22, I flew home to be with my mom, whose treatment had recently stopped working. I continued working remotely while doing my best to let my mom know how loved she was.

My mom passed away on April 13th, a month before her 70th birthday. Even after many therapy sessions, I am still at a loss for words when I think about losing my best friend. I do not speak to many people about it. She was unable to attend my wedding (including the one she was enthusiastically planning for us in the US). She never met my partner in person. She will never meet my future grandchildren.

I know this pandemic has been hard on so many of us. Personally, I have struggled with job uncertainty, social isolation, grief management, and communication with a partner thousands of miles away and a 7-hour time difference. I am slowly trying to regain a sense of security and grasp onto any sliver of optimism, despite not having the person I need most beside me to help me through this time.

It has been 10 incredibly long months since I have seen my partner. He has supported me through many teary-eyed video calls, making me laugh or using his optimism to give me a brief break from the weight of unbearable emotional exhaustion.

I am sharing this story because my partner’s green card application was approved through USCIS. It awaits review at the National Visa Center (NVC), upon which he can interview at the embassy and we can reunite in the US. We have applied for an expedition to NVC due to an urgent humanitarian situation — for my partner and I to grieve this loss together. I am sharing a template below that you can fill out and send to your US representatives, as well as my own in North Carolina, to urge NVC to accept the expedited request. If you have any time, I kindly ask that you send a quick email or letter to these Senators and Congresspeople using the template below — feel free to explain your relationship with me if you have the time and capacity.

___________________________________________________________________

DATE:

Congressman/Senator Name:

Address:

RE: Leah Frances Goldmann and Yusuf Junior Mago-Nsbuga NVC Case

Dear Congressperson/Senator,

My name is xxx.

I am writing on behalf of my friend Leah Goldmann, who is a resident of North Carolina District 4. Leah lost her mother in April to stage four pancreatic cancer. Like many of us, and especially Leah, her mother was a huge part of her support system. Unfortunately, she has been unable to grieve with her husband, who currently awaits his green card approval in Uganda.

Fortunately, their case was accepted through USCIS and moved to NVC in August. I am writing to see if any help can be rendered to expedite the final decision so they can finally be together after 10 months and counting apart so they might grieve together and support each other through this devastating family loss.

I would appreciate your office’s assistance with regards to their case. Thank you very much for your support in this matter.

Sincerely yours,

Petitioner’s name